S. Connolly

Keeping Silent: Shutting Your Mouth For Every Occasion

I started working with Daemons back in 1984. I was a stupid, smart-assed, know it all kid back then.  I read every book I could find on the subject, coined myself an occult expert among all my friends, and considered myself special because surely – no one knew as much about the occult as me. Four years later, in 1988 – my ego got knocked down a few pegs when I discovered that there were other, more experienced people involved in the occult. And things I thought I knew were not things I had discovered on my own, and what I actually knew was very little compared to some of these people who’d been doing this longer than me. But I was still an egotistical, bratty little bitch (as teenagers are) and managed to secure some training by these more experienced people. By 1994 – I’d worked my way into a real live Daemonolatry group and was even given tasks that usually only clergy (in other traditions anyway) were allowed to do.  Like set up the altars, construct the ritual space, or help with abyssal communion and rite of imbibement.  But even by that time, having practiced for 10 years, I was still pretty wet behind the ears. By 2004 – 20 years after beginning my initial journey, I’d started to get my shit together and finally started viewing my practice in a more mature, adult way, even though I still felt the need to share my opinion with anyone who would listen. In some instances I probably sounded like some crazy dogmatic magician who was intolerant of certain beliefs or practices. Perhaps I was. By 2014 (30 years after I had begun practicing working with Daemons), I’d gotten to a point where I finally decided to fully step back and STFU. And to listen.

I’ve watched people come and go in the world of online Daemonolatry since 1997.  I know everyone who has been around for more than 10 years. It’s not a big community – especially in the world of those who work with Daemons.  Only a small fraction of the Daemonolaters online today will be practicing 10 years from now. For most people it’s a passing fad.

I’m pretty laid back. I have a live and let live mentality. I tend toward those who follow a tradition similar to my own.  Nothing wrong with that.  That’s my personal preference. I have A LOT of opinions about Daemonolatry, but for the most part I keep them to myself these days. I wasn’t always like this, but after fifteen years sharing my opinions online and realizing I was just pissing in the wind –  I learned that it’s a much quieter, more spiritual existence keeping one’s opinions to oneself.

I could tell people who the old school practitioners are (as they walk among us) in public online forums, but why?  It makes it more entertaining when one of the people new to the scene takes on those who have been around for awhile. Trust me – in private, at coven meetings, or at in person gatherings – we laugh about this stuff.

I could tell you who’s new on the scene and pretending to be an old school practitioner (because I’m not just on the in in the online community – but I know who’s who in the Daemonolatry world offline, too), but again – not my business to publicly point that out. Besides, if you sit and listen — you’ll be able to pick the noobs (and by noobs, that’s anyone who’s been practicing under 10 years) out rather quickly. Let’s just say that MOST of the people in the public online groups these days haven’t been practicing more than five years, even if they tell you otherwise. Their participation, questions, comments etc… speak volumes. Likewise – I can tell an armchair magician from someone who is actively practicing. There are longtime armchair magicians, too. People who are far more interested in theory, psychology, and philosophy than anything else.

I hear and see a lot of wrong information out there, but with UPG, I let it go because what’s right to me may not be right to someone else and no one is going to change anyone’s mind. In my humble opinion it’s best to let people do what they want because they don’t want rules or ideas, or traditions they don’t like,  and I don’t have time for confrontation with strangers that, when it’s said and done, is pointless. Do what you want as long as it makes you happy. But never forget that there’s a difference between traditional Daemonolatry and what passes off online as Daemonolatry. I know what those differences are, but I don’t dare point them out because that’s not what kids today want. They want to do what they want and say they’ve got the “in” on Daemons.  If that makes them happy, so be it.

I see trends in Daemons that everyone is working with come and go, but I don’t point it out. I usually just laugh, shake my head, and walk away. Last week it was Paimon, this week Claunek, I’m pretty sure Belial was all the rage there for awhile, and who knows which Daemon will be flavor of the moment next week. Poor Daemons — even they only get their five minutes of fame.

I watch young people discover something old about Daemonolatry that all the old school practitioners know because our traditional training taught us that stuff in the very beginning and I giggle to myself as they try to pass it off as something *they* alone have discovered, and that no one else knows. But I shut my mouth.

I watch people who are brand new to the practice opening websites and shops, and blogs, so they can teach other beginners. Watching the blind lead the blind can be rather amusing, too. Of course it’s not funny when some beginners start ass-raping other beginners  (or people who just don’t know any better) by selling them Daemons in rings, demon lovers, and other nonsensical shit.  Still, it’s not my place, so I say absolutely nothing.

I’ve also watched as other seasoned practitioners sat by and said nothing. We often give one another nods of acknowledgement from across the virtual room, or pass a virtual sigh or eyeroll between us when we see some of the insane, crazy shit we see.  But we generally bow out of the conversation.  Some beginners have made it very clear they don’t give a shit what the elder Daemonolaters think and that they don’t value our opinions, ideas, or thoughts and so they don’t want us to weigh in on conversations. So we don’t.

This is why we end up so often not participating in online groups – because we’re not wanted there as some of these younger people posture and jockey for position within the online occult groups they dominate with their excessive talk and, at most, beginner knowledge.

Keeping silent means you see a lot, you hear a lot, and you know a lot more about what’s going on than people think you know.  Today has been one of those days where I saw enough in the last 24 hours that I’m ready to keep silent for another year.

Steph is an award winning and bestselling author of thrilling steamy and paranormal romances, dark urban fantasy, occult horror-thrillers, cozy mysteries, contemporary romance, sword and sorcery fantasy, and books about the esoteric and Daemonolatry. A Daemonolatress and forever a resident of Smelt Isle, she is happily married and cat-mom to three pampered house cats. Her muse is a demanding sadistic Dom who often keeps her up into the wee hours of the morning. You can contact her at swordarkeereon@gmail.com

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