Day 20: The Dam Broke #domagick

I have been doing some “secret” work slated to be released in a book coming in early 2018, and today I finally sat down and got the supplies I need to give the project the polish it needs.  Readers want pretty, polished magick in pictures. Not the raw, crudely cut out cardboard magick that happens with experimentation. I found this out the hard way with a great deal of criticism for the hand drawn (not by an artist) sigils in MD and CBoD. Perhaps this is what inflates people’s expectations and makes them feel like they’re not doing it right.  They see all these great things and results that magicians/writers who have been practicing 30+ years are getting – they see our carefully staged pictures and artist rendered drawings of certain things – and when they can’t duplicate that, they think they’re doing something wrong or their magick isn’t good enough.  Always remember that the books never delve as deeply into the fuck-ups or show you our crappy ass drawings and renditions, or even our non-staged temples or ritual spaces, which may not be nearly as pretty as people expect. Magick for presentation is far cleaner for sure, and mostly free of error and mishap because we already made the mistakes when no one was there to witness them.

Okay – went off on a tangent there… So the ideas and work are coming now and Ashtaroth seems to be easing me gently into the mad dash toward the end of March.

She is also forcing me to focus. As I mentioned early on in this challenge – I have a tendency to look at all I have to do and get overwhelmed, which makes me feel like I’m not moving forward quick enough, which in turn triggers self-sabotaging behavior. But forcing myself to focus makes me realize that I’m completing tasks at a very reasonable rate, which doesn’t trigger self-sabotaging behavior. Yes, some projects may have to be pushed back, but I need to accept that and move on. Let it go. Breathe.  I can do this.

Today’s Work:

• Invocation to Ashtaroth: Done, no anomalies.  Sigil is still being carried with me everywhere.
• Chakra Balancing Meditation: Done, no anomalies.
• Other Magick: Daily Prayers & Offerings, Invocation to Lucifer for First Rite. No anomalies.
• Walking: 0
• Writing: 0
• Tarot Card:  9 of Cups. A warning against spending too much time dreaming about the final outcome. Tangible steps toward the goal must be taken. Don’t be smug or a braggart when good things happen.

Ended up bringing some payroll work home. My co-workers forgot how to use the time clock again. ::sigh::