I SO needed this today. My morning qigong and chakra work really energized me. I started with about 10 minutes of Tai Chi to loosen everything up then moved into about 10 minutes of Qigong meditation/breathing exercises (Shen Breathing today). Then I sat down on the mat and did a fifteen minute chakra activation and balancing meditation. When I was done, I felt electric – energized. Not in the manner that I got a lot done. On the contrary, I spent the day hanging out, watching television, taking a walk (score one for the walk!), and basically enjoying a day off. The chakra work did reveal a block in the throat chakra. This might explain my lack of energy as of late. Tomorrow, during my yoga session, I’ll work in a few poses that should allegedly help to open and strengthen my throat chakra. Fish and lion poses might just do the trick. We shall see. I would try plow, but I am a bit out of practice. Need to work back up to that one. It’s amazing how quickly you lose that strength and flexibility if you don’t stay in practice. Today was easily the most exercise I’ve gotten in the past nine months (since my surgery).
You’ll notice in my schedule I allowed for meditation, breath exercises, and movement over the weekends. I decided on this, over more strenuous magickal work, because I realized early on that part of my work was about being kind to my mind and my body. If I care for both, maybe I won’t be so dead set and determined to sabotage myself. Being kind and loving toward myself is part of the work. I haven’t been very nice to me in the last year.
No major revelations today, or Daemonic interference. Apparently I needed a down day.
Tarot Card of the Day: Five of Swords — This card is asking me if my fight/struggle is worth it. Why am I fighting myself and my own success? This card is asking me to take note of self-destructive patterns and to start making different choices. So it really does begin. Tonight I made a list of all the things I can do to stop self-sabotaging my career.
- Stop procrastinating
- Stop saying “no” to opportunities because I don’t feel I’m good enough.
- Stop feeling like I’m an imposter pretending to be a writer.
- Stop using anxiety, anti-social tendencies, and fear of judgement by others to dictate which opportunities I’ll say yes to.
- Stop trying to talk myself out of opportunities.
- Stop panicking (about EVERYTHING).
- Stop worrying what others think.
- Stop wondering if I’m good enough.
I’m not even sure if this list is done, but it’s a good start.