A Malkuth of Me,  Spirituality,  the writing life,  thoughts

This is a Test, This is Only a Test…

Have you ever just had one of those days where you were pretty sure you were being tested?

It’s one of those days that always starts where you wake up late, you forget your lunch then remember it when you’re halfway to work. You’re using the copier machine first thing in the morning and it breaks half way through your print job of the quarterly reports for the staff meeting that starts in thirty minutes.  It usually spirals from there.

You have to wonder if it’s some sort of test. A test of patience. A test of willpower. Or maybe even a test of resilience. Thankfully I don’t have a lot of days like the one I describe above. Instead, I tend to have those moments.

Tests scattered throughout my week. Things that make me want to pull my hair out or smack my head against a wall.

Today’s test was learning that Keys of Ocat, which was originally slated to be released in October, may not be out until end of December or beginning of January. At first I was really frustrated with this news. After all, the book was turned in to the publisher the first part of September, didn’t go into formatting until second week of October (which was my own fault for not bringing the work computer with me on a three week vacation), and proofed the beginning of November. Of course I don’t fault my publisher. Books like this don’t happen overnight. Printers and binders can take up to six weeks to complete an  offset print run. So that is where the delay is for those wondering.

If you know nothing else about me, know this (directly from the horse’s mouth):

  • I am a control freak (when it comes to my projects and my writing).
  • I am impatient.

These are my biggest faults. Faults that are highlighted almost every single time the universe throws certain “tests” at me.

It’s when these faults are highlighted that I’m reminded to take a step back. After all, I have friends and family battling cancer, and I know people who live on the brink of poverty every day. I’m sure they’d all love to have my stupid little problems.

If this is the worst thing going on in my life I really have no room to bitch. Nope. Not at all. Because the truth is that the only thing in my life going wrong right now is a book that’s running later than I expected. The sky isn’t falling. No one has, or will die because of it.

Looking at things this way really does put these little “tests” into perspective and makes me thankful for every person in my life, every reader,  and all the things (like persistence and good health) that I’ve been blessed with so far.   And it makes me laugh at myself for getting frustrated at such petty things to begin with.


Steph is an award winning and bestselling author of thrilling steamy and paranormal romances, dark urban fantasy, occult horror-thrillers, cozy mysteries, contemporary romance, sword and sorcery fantasy, and books about the esoteric and Daemonolatry. A Daemonolatress and forever a resident of Smelt Isle, she is happily married and cat-mom to three pampered house cats. Her muse is a demanding sadistic Dom who often keeps her up into the wee hours of the morning. You can contact her at swordarkeereon@gmail.com

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