Recently I’ve been thinking a lot how some Daemonolaters go through ritual after ritual in some attempt to find and connect with their Patron/Matron (aka Guardian Daemon, Mentor etc…). I am often asked the question, “How do I connect to the Daemonic divine?” I always answer the same. “You have to work with the Daemons.” Sometimes this can be achieved through extended rituals such as Kasdeya or other forms of extended pathwork.
On the other side of that coin there are those of us who have always known the identity of this particular spirit (usually due to a near death experience or experiencing some other traumatic event). I, myself, had two near death experiences as a child. I was sexually molested when I was ten. So by the time I was seventeen I’d experienced enough physical and emotional trauma and enough paranormal activity to know that firstly – I was a magician, and secondly, after some ritual work, who my Patron was. I know many other Daemonolaters who have a similar backstory and a similar connection with their Daemonic Patron/Matron.
Some people believe that in order to develop this connection one needs to actually be deconstructed and then reconstructed via ritual work. Kind of like in some traditions the belief is that in order to connect with the HGA (a very similar concept to a Matron/Patron or Guardian Daemon as some call them) the magician must go through extended ritual work and be deconstructed while crossing Da’ath. This deconstruction facilitates a closer connection to the divine source and opens the magician’s senses to what lies beyond the veil.
My dear friend Goetic Nick has, for several years now, argued that not everyone needs to be deconstructed while crossing Da’ath in order to find or develop that connection. I’ve always agreed with him for the simple fact that my Kasdeya experience and my Abramelin experience weren’t nearly as traumatizing for me as they have been for other people I’ve known. Some people really do believe that if these rituals don’t completely destroy you and rebuild you, that you didn’t do them right. Clearly I disagree. Don’t get me wrong – I learned a great deal from both my Kasdeya and from performing Abramelin. It’s just that my life wasn’t flipped upside down as happens with some people and I’ve never had an issue connecting or feeling connected to the Daemonic or my Patron.
So maybe there is something to be said for trauma or deconstruction and connection, but some of us experience enough life trauma that we don’t need ritually induced trauma to make it.