A Malkuth of Me,  thoughts

Shove Your Drama

The topic of online drama has come up a lot in the past week. Young people I know (my niece and a young friend who is a witch) are allowing what people say “online” to effect them. Others are being baited by people who are overly dramatic and being pulled into nonsensical bullshit. Others still have found themselves victims of the never-ending drama of the “online occult scene”. (And that, ladies and gents, is why I’ve pretty much removed myself from the online occult scene.)

Let me tell you a little something I’ve learned about drama. First off, there are people out there I call “shit stirrers”. They’re the ones who try to “bait” you into a fight. They do it because they LOVE, and probably even thrive, in drama. They want to create it. Generally these people are negative energy feeders (in psychic vampire terms).  So their goal in life (because they have no lives) is to pull you into a fight.  Also – most “shit stirrers”, I’ve discovered, are bored housewives and generally unemployed. Just an observation.

Back on point: If you take the bait, you begin arguing – thwack – you find yourself in the middle of the drama. But, really you have no one to blame but yourself because you’re the one who took the bait to begin with. Not to mention most people really do care what other people think of them and so this only deepens the drama.

Drama also relies a great deal on the he-said, she-said bullshit. Everyone loves a good gossipy rumor (or at least dramatic people do). So if you’ve ever spread a rumor or started a rumor – you are a key player in the drama and also a shit-stirrer. Sorry – but you are.

So how do you get rid of drama in your life? It’s really simple. I’ll give it to you in several simple steps.

1. The Internet is the world’s bathroom wall. That means any asshole who can type can put whatever he wants here.  Most of it is untrue. Ignore it. The Internet is NOT the real world. What people you’ve never met before think of you, is irrelevant. Hell, what people you know in the flesh think of you is irrelevant, too. But more about that later.

2. Get a life (offline!)

3. Stop giving a shit what someone three blocks over (or in an online forum) thinks of you. In the grand scheme of things she doesn’t mean shit to you or your life. Also – stop caring what family and friends think. Basically – what anyone else thinks is irrelevant. No one else’s opinion of you matters. Fuck them all. Seriously. Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. Just because they think it doesn’t mean its true and anyone stupid enough to believe them can fuck off, too.

4. You grow in your own light and don’t require other people to do so.

5. Don’t spread rumors or gossip. Instead of spreading rumors or gossip, ask the person the rumors or gossip is about if what you heard is true. Then drop it. If the rumors persist ignore them.

6. If you are constantly hearing through the grapevine that so-and-so said this about you, start with the person you heard the rumor from, work your way back, and REMOVE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE from your life. It’s not worth it. Friendships and family relationships are only worth it if these people enrich your life or provide emotional support in some way.

But Steph – you’re saying to kick everyone out of my life!?

If that’s what it takes, yes. The only female friends I’ve ever kept for any length of time were with the women who were secure enough in themselves that they weren’t competitive with me. I stay out of family drama by rolling my eyes at it and adopting an “I don’t give two flying fucks” attitude toward it.  I’m Switzerland.  😉

As a result my life is filled with quality people whose lives don’t revolve around me and for whom my life does not revolve around them! Okay, sure – I’m not immune to drama (no one is), but for the most part my life is drama free and the only drama I ever get is people coming to me to share their dramatic lives or people coming to me in attempt to bait me into their drama.  I’m just too old for that shit.

If I want drama I’ll watch TV.

Steph is an award winning and bestselling author of thrilling steamy and paranormal romances, dark urban fantasy, occult horror-thrillers, cozy mysteries, contemporary romance, sword and sorcery fantasy, and books about the esoteric and Daemonolatry. A Daemonolatress and forever a resident of Smelt Isle, she is happily married and cat-mom to three pampered house cats. Her muse is a demanding sadistic Dom who often keeps her up into the wee hours of the morning. You can contact her at swordarkeereon@gmail.com


  • Morgan Drake Eckstein

    Being involved in Golden Dawn, I know a few men who are also cunts (no names mentioned). It always annoys them to discover that I have a life and really don’t care what they say. That amuses me to a certain extent.

  • Wheezy

    I am an overly dramatic person …. Hell I’m Italian…. but I say what I want, how and when.. if this bothers people avoid my wall… I laugh loud , cry loud, and scream loud .. I have been called a Drama queen but guess what.. too dang bad… wanna know me.. the real me I put it on display 😛 (with no shame!)
    But other than to offer congrats or comfort I don’t let myself get sucked into other’s drama, And don’t care if anyone avoids mine

  • Shelby Cross

    Bored Housewife? Check. Unemployed? Check. Mentally unstable? Ooh, big massive check. Shit-stirrer? I probably have been, at one time or another. I think we all have been at least once, even if we didn’t realize it. But I don’t think that’s my biggest issue. No, my biggest issue is that I like to answer my own damn questions. 🙂

  • Steph

    @Shelby, agreed. I think we’ve all stirred the pot once or twice. But I wouldn’t know you well enough to know if you were a shit stirrer or not. 🙂 You really don’t strike me as the type. I talk to myself, too. It keeps me focused. LOL!

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