Witch Hunting in North America…2011???

Yep, it’s true. In the wake of a Wiccan TSA employee being fired from her job in part allegedly for hexing a co-worker’s car heater (umm, yeah) the fruit loop Evangelicals are gathering again at Harvard for their annual Witch Hunting Conference . Okay, so that’s not what they call it, but they do have meetings where they discuss witches and witchcraft and how Harry Potter is turning the US into a modern Sodom. And we all know what allegedly happened there. If they’re right, Divine Destruction is not too far off. ::cough:: Call me naive, but I thought the last time we had meetings about witches in this country was 1692… and if my memory of history is correct — bad things happened.  So my question is, why would Harvard host this kind of nonsense? Especially since the people putting on said conference are anti-science, anti-intellectualism (unless it agrees with their doctrines), not to mention sexist, racist and homophobic?

I get a fleeting thought about the Library at Alexandria and how we, as a species, lost 1000 years of what could have been human scientific and technological advancement all because of zealous Christians.

The next fleeting thought is  Monty Python’s Holy Grail

CROWD:  A witch!  A witch!  A witch!  We’ve got a witch!  A witch!
VILLAGER #1:  We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD:  Burn her!  Burn!
BEDEMIR:  How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2:  She looks like one.
BEDEMIR:  Bring her forward.
WITCH:  I’m not a witch.  I’m not a witch.
BEDEMIR:  But you are dressed as one.
WITCH:  They dressed me up like this.
CROWD:  No, we didn’t… no.
WITCH:  And this isn’t my nose, it’s a false one.
BEDEMIR:  Well?
VILLAGER #1:  Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEMIR:  The nose?
VILLAGER #1:  And the hat — but she is a witch!
CROWD:  Burn her!  Witch!  Witch!  Burn her!
BEDEMIR:  Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD:  No, no… no … yes.  Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1:  She has got a wart.
BEDEMIR:  What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3:  Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEMIR:  A newt?
VILLAGER #3:  I got better.
VILLAGER #2:  Burn her anyway!
CROWD:  Burn!  Burn her!
BEDEMIR:  Quiet, quiet.  Quiet!  There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.
CROWD:  Are there?  What are they?
BEDEMIR:  Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2:  Burn!
CROWD:  Burn, burn them up!
BEDEMIR:  And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1:  More witches!
VILLAGER #2:  Wood!
BEDEMIR:  So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3:  B–… ’cause they’re made of wood…?
BEDEMIR:  Good!
CROWD:  Oh yeah, yeah…
BEDEMIR:  So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1:  Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEMIR:  Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2:  Oh, yeah.
BEDEMIR:  Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1:  No, no.
VILLAGER #2:  It floats!  It floats!
VILLAGER #1:  Throw her into the pond!
CROWD:  The pond!
BEDEMIR:  What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1:  Bread!
VILLAGER #2:  Apples!
VILLAGER #3:  Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1:  Cider!
VILLAGER #2:  Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1:  Cherries!
VILLAGER #2:  Mud!
VILLAGER #3:  Churches — churches!
VILLAGER #2:  Lead — lead!
ARTHUR:  A duck.
CROWD:  Oooh.
BEDEMIR:  Exactly!  So, logically…,
VILLAGER #1:  If… she.. weighs the same as a duck, she’s made of wood.
BEDEMIR:  And therefore–?
VILLAGER #1:  A witch!
CROWD:  A witch!
BEDEMIR:  We shall use my larger scales!
[yelling]
BEDEMIR:  Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
CROWD:  A witch!  A witch!
WITCH:  It’s a fair cop.
CROWD:  Burn her!  Burn!  [yelling]

So for those of you intelligent, free thinking, scientifically minded folks out there (whether you practice a religion or not) — don’t let the stupids take control! Don’t! Some days I think the world has gone crazy.  ::sigh::

About Steph

Steph is an award winning and bestselling author of thrilling steamy and paranormal romances, dark urban fantasy, occult horror-thrillers, cozy mysteries, contemporary romance, sword and sorcery fantasy, and books about the esoteric and Daemonolatry. A Daemonolatress and forever a resident of Smelt Isle, she is happily married and cat-mom to three pampered house cats. Her muse is a demanding sadistic Dom who often keeps her up into the wee hours of the morning. You can contact her at swordarkeereon@gmail.com

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