Today was a really good day. People were pleasant and agreeable. Things got done. Traffic wasn’t overly terrible. And yet I woke up on the wrong side of the bed feeling extremely irritable. Stabby if you will. So I’m hiding myself from the rest of the world until my attitude adjusts. LOL (Hey, it is the ides of March, after all.)
In the meantime, this quote always makes me happier:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
Self Transformation Evaluation
Takeaway So Far (aka Habits to help avoid self-sabotage):
- Be Kind to Your Self – if you fail, forgive yourself and try again.
- Be Fearless! (Intrepid Writing) – don’t be afraid to be yourself!
- Be Honest With Your Self – be honest, but kind and forgiving.
- Breathe and Balance – because it’s fantastic
- Be Focused – because focus helps us feel accomplished and helps us obtain goals.
- Be Adaptable – because schedules get derailed and some days you only have a finite number of spoons.
- Listen – to what you and your body need and the do it.
Areas I Need to Work Harder On:
- Movement – I need to incorporate more daily movement into my schedule. But I’ve found I put it off. So perhaps I need to find a way to turn it into something fun, or I need to commit to movement between writing sessions (instead of Facebook).
- Consistency– I need to be consistent with my efforts on the creative front. No excuses. This work is all about how and why I am self-sabotaging my Great Work.
- Eat Better – This is all about making good choices. It’s funny how in certain areas of my life I make wonderful choices, and others, I suck at. Eating more nutritious foods will help my mind and body, and ultimately my Great Work.
- Watch those Commitments – So I don’t over-commit. Only take on what I can reasonably do.
- Let Go – of the things not serving me or that I’m not passionate about. I really need to let go of a series that I never intended to be a series, but that a tiny handful of people thought should be a series and I’m having a hard time being honest with myself and letting it go. I guess I’m afraid to tell those people that I am going to let it go because I feel bound by my commitment. But if I’m not passionate about it, I am doing them a disservice. It’s time to close up several book series’ and move on. Otherwise I am at a stalemate. I think my issue with letting go might be the reason I’m stalling on Eagle’s Talon Gray as well. My inability to let go of projects that are no longer serving me is a form of self-sabotage.
Starting today and through the 21st, I’ll be doing daily morning Invocations to Ashtaroth/Astaroth and carrying her sigil while I focus on the above and work to turn my bad habits around so that I am supporting and nurturing myself and my Great Work instead of sabotaging it. I really like the chakra balancing, so I think I’ll keep up with it. I will try to do yoga or walking or some form of movement at least three times in the next week. I will also continue asking myself to write 1500 words a day (not including blog posts).
Today Ashtaroth gave me a few warnings (personal) and helped me ease into my day without too much chaos. It seems whenever you step up to the plate and people see you standing there – there will be some type of shit stirring going on in the background. Some people want to see you strike out. It is what it is. At least *I* won’t be among those waiting – and that is the whole point of this month-long-operation for me. A little more confidence and fearlessness, a lot less self-sabotage.
I did my chakra balancing. Increased my hormone levels a little when I got home and that seemed to help. I didn’t get any writing in today, but I did get a walk in. Small steps.