Last night I dreamt about doing my tax prep and woke ready to work. I also woke feeling relatively good about my work.
I did a lot of seated yoga today. Long, deep stretches for about thirty minutes. It really hit the spot. Took my vitamins. Go me. Got about half the tax prep done, then a friend called and asked if we wanted to do dinner at our favorite German restaurant. Yes, please! LOL
Got through some email, which is a giant relief. Got an offer in my email (which I can’t talk about plainly until it officially happens, but no, it wasn’t 50% off coupon or a Nigerian Prince with millions to transfer) and I accepted the challenge because that’s what I’m doing this month regardless how scary it seems. And of course my initial was reaction was, “Oh no, can’t do that. What if I screw it up???” <— This is self-sabotage right here! I also agreed to help judge my writing group’s annual writing contest again this year, which is fun (and I just added, “I already know I can’t screw that up…”). ::sigh:: I conservatively only took on four submissions (4 – 6 hours of work), six if they absolutely need it. That way I’m not overwhelming myself. Recognizing and holding myself accountable to these self-sabotaging thoughts is what this work is all about — and telling self-sabotage to take a flying leap whenever I find it whispering in my ear.
Tonight once we get home I may try some writing. Tomorrow I will finish my taxes and catch up on readings (only two tomorrow thank goodness), and I might even find some writing time, so I’m psyched.
Looks like I’m slowly getting my shit straightened out. Back on track, eyes on the prize — that Sorath work! Of course this also means I may have to attend conference again this year, but this time as just an attendee (because I didn’t pitch a workshop this year). And I’m okay with that. I think it’s more fun and inspiring when you’re not pre-occupied with having to speak and teach. I really just want to hang out, learn, and visit with my writer peeps. Of course if I do this, I will have to decide if I’m going to get a hotel room this year. It’s only a 20-30 minute drive from the hotel to home. Decisions, decisions. Back on track — the magick!
So I just got home from dinner, fed the cats, and I have decided to do the rest of the tax prep tomorrow. After all, I am dropping the tax stuff off Tuesday, so I should be fine. Off to do my meditation and chakra work now.
Okay – THAT was more like it. Tonight I used a recorded sound chakra meditation to activate and balance my chakras. Because it was music, I was able to concentrate on the vibration as opposed to doing the vocalizations right. I know, it’s a cheat, but it works. Here – try it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ok1jAGknZ9c As I moved up the chakras, by the time it hit my heart chakra my head was pounding. Seriously – felt like my eyes were going to bleed. Then my throat – more pressure. Then as I moved to my third eye, the top of my head started to itch. Finally, once at my crown chakra, I felt this HUGE release. While I still have some pressure (sinus, and I have some fluid in my inner ears right now), the pain I had during the meditation is gone. Maybe I need to do this twice a day. I only did 10 minutes for this work. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll try a 15 minute cheat. The elemental balancing felt cleansing and I feel like I’m breathing a bit better (in that I’m not holding my breath, which is something people tend to do when they’re stressed or tense).
I had planned on doing invocation for divination today, but I’m going to skip that and save it for tomorrow, since Sundays are when I normally do divinations for others anyway. Instead, before bed tonight I’ll do some pranayama.
Today’s Tarot Card: The Magician. I don’t think I need to really go into this, right? I shape my own reality and only I can make the changes that need to be made. I have all the creative inspiration I need. Which is true.
- Word Count: 0 (might need to resort to some reverse psychology on myself)
- Balancing Meditation/Chakra: 20 minutes
- Sun Salutations: 0, but some deep stretching and sitting yoga poses. A vast improvement.
- Vitamins: Yes
- Invocation and Divination – Saving for tomorrow night. Switching to pranayama for tonight before bed.
- Tarot Card: Yes.
Some additional notes: My friend, Shayla, showed us her Necronomicon Tarot deck during Goetia class a few weeks back and I just had to have it. So I bought one. Might have to pull that out during my regular Sunday deck charging and see which deck speaks to me tomorrow. It will be a choice between my beloved Medieval Scappini, the Tarot of Ceremonial Magick, the standard Thoth deck, and now the Necronomicon. Should be an interesting experiment as to which one wants to be used. (The photo above is from the deck my friend, Tanya, and I are slowly creating. She did this card as a mock up. It’s still a bit rough, but I love how unique and interesting it turned out. With more solid lines in the redo, it should prove to be fantastic when finished.)