A Malkuth of Me,  Magick,  S. Connolly

Day 7: Ashtaroth Offering + Prayers #domagick

I want to establish first off that I’m glad I went with a self-caring schedule for the beginning of this challenge. This month has been wicked busy and it’s only going to get busier. Between a lot of family to-do’s, writing to-do’s, the day job, and so on – I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. But also, the weather is wreaking havoc on my sinuses and joints, so I’ve been dealing with a constant, dull, thudding pain in my ankles, toes, knees, fingers, and head. I finally broke down today and drugged myself with Tylenol and a water pill (ate too much salt yesterday, which doesn’t help my edema). I try not to use meds when I don’t have to because I don’t want to become dependent or to build up a tolerance.  Now to drink plenty of water and do some walking. It’s hell to get older. Especially when you have such sedentary jobs.  Young people note — you’re not getting any younger, so take care of yourself now and develop healthy, sustainable habits now. Maybe I can at least serve as a warning. LOL!

So – I fed the cats, then went into the temple half asleep (because I drank coffee after six last night and was up until 3AM — another older people thing — no coffee after 6) because I was exhausted. I lit a candle for Ashtaroth in offering, asked Ashtaroth to help me be kind to myself today (and affirming) and left it at that. I didn’t have energy for much else. I let the candle burn until I left for the office. Also pulled my tarot card and took a long look at it.

All in all it was a relaxing, productive day. I focused on nothing but my payroll – and focus is good. I get so much more done and feel so much more accomplished at the end of my day when I focus. I also don’t self-sabotage when my emotional need to feel productive and competent is met. So apparently that is another thing I need to be mindful of.

Though as I was writing this I had another self-sabotaging thought in thinking — my magickal work is not nearly as complex as some of the work I’m reading that others are producing. Oh noes! I am slacking. Now my logical mind has jumped in and reminded me that the real research wasn’t the Daemons I was using or the techniques I’m using as much as it was about looking into myself and how to cultivate positive, sustainable habits to break the cycle of self-abuse that I’ve identified.  I spent some of my research time choosing Daemons to help me, and practices that will benefit me. I spent the first seven days of this challenge identifying the problem. So for the next week – my focus is going to be on actively working to solve the problem by reconditioning my thinking. You can only bitch about a problem for so long before you start actively working to fix it. It’s time for me to quit bitching and start acting.

This means it’s time to change it up a bit.

  1. ENERGY. I need to do daily energy work and take vitamins. I am discovering that I tend to self-sabotage more (and beat myself up more) when I’m tired and juggling too much. That causes me to drop the ball. An example — today I realized I forgot what I told my Goetia class to be working on this month because I didn’t write it down (forgot to amid the chaos). I ended up having to go back to my students/fellow magicians and ask them what I said.
  2. MOVEMENT. I need to work yoga back in several times a week to help me feel good about myself and NOT give myself excuses to use my lack of activity as a reason to self-sabotage. As in, “Well, it’s no wonder I don’t feel like doing that booksigning. I’m so damn lazy I can’t even commit to a yoga practice.”
  3. PLAN. I need to schedule my time, but keep it flexible, and be forgiving of myself when I slip up. Tomorrow is another day.  Example: “I’ll never be able to keep up with this schedule. I suck. I don’t know why I even bother to try to give release dates.”
  4. FOCUS. I don’t do well looking at the big picture unless I’m goal setting. I break things into smaller chunks so its easier for me to deal with. A big part of my problem lately is that I have SO much going on that I focus on the big picture, get overwhelmed, and immediately fail in getting things done in a TIMELY manner. Mind you I am still getting things done, but TIMELY is important for my own success.  I think more focused meditations will help here.
  5. BALANCE. This goes along with numbers three and four. I need to find a healthy balance between work and play, so I’m not working all the time, feeling like I’m spinning my wheels, and, in turn, feeding self-sabotaging negative thoughts and feelings. In retrospect from the past week, I realized that I’ve been out of balance since my surgery. So I will continue with elemental balancing and chakra work.
  6. PRODUCE. All of this imbalance and lack of focus has already thrown me off my game. I’ve sabotaged my productivity as a result and I have not been nearly as prolific in 2017 as I could have been already. So it’s time to work!  I will be posting my daily word counts (not including these posts) during my #domagick posts.  It’s time to hold myself accountable. So my work is actually part of the magick that I’ll be using to fix myself.
  7. REST. I need more sleep. To that end I’m going to be working nightly magick to improve my sleep. (This also means I need to stop binge watching crap on Netflix before bed, because if it’s good, it gives me an excuse not to sleep.)

So, with all of this in mind…. the next seven days magickal practice will look like this.

Wednesday: In the morning: Take vitamins and do 10 sun salutations. Focus on at least one task for the day. Write at least 1500 words. At night: Do elemental balancing and chakra meditations before bed. Sleep with the seal of Ashtaroth beneath my pillow.

Thursday: In the morning: Take vitamins and do 10 sun salutations. Focus on at least one task for the day. Write at least 1500 words. At night: Invoke Bathin. Do elemental balancing and chakra meditations before bed.

Friday: In the morning: Take vitamins and do 10 sun salutations. Focus on at least one task for the day. Write at least 1500 words. At night: Do elemental balancing and chakra meditations before bed. Sleep with the seal of Bathin beneath my pillow.

Saturday: In the morning: Take vitamins and do 10 sun salutations. Focus on at least one task for the day. Write at least 1500 words. At night: Invoke both Ashtaroth & Bathin for divination. Do elemental balancing and chakra meditations before bed.

Sunday:  In the morning: Take vitamins and do 10 sun salutations. Draw solar energies into myself through pranayama – Kumbhaka. Focus on at least one task for the day. Write at least 1500 words. Schedule my upcoming week.  At night: Do elemental balancing and chakra meditations before bed.

Monday:  In the morning: Take vitamins and do 10 sun salutations. Focus on at least one task for the day. Write at least 1500 words. At night: Invoke Ashtaroth. Do elemental balancing and chakra meditations before bed.

Tuesday:  In the morning: Take vitamins and do 10 sun salutations. Focus on at least one task for the day. Write at least 1500 words. At night: Do elemental balancing and chakra meditations before bed.

Then next week – I will again evaluate where I am (what’s working, what isn’t), and adjust as needed.  Magick isn’t just what happens inside the temple or during magickal acts. This is the type of magick we have to carry into our daily lives. It becomes our job to turn mundane, everyday tasks into magickal acts that reshape our thinking, thus reshaping the world around us. Like turning water to wine.

Tarot Card of the Day: JUSTICE

Balance and accountability. It’s time to make yourself accountable for your actions and to pause and find your center.  This card was in the back of my mind all day, and the result was the above restructuring and plan.

Steph is an award winning and bestselling author of thrilling steamy and paranormal romances, dark urban fantasy, occult horror-thrillers, cozy mysteries, contemporary romance, sword and sorcery fantasy, and books about the esoteric and Daemonolatry. A Daemonolatress and forever a resident of Smelt Isle, she is happily married and cat-mom to three pampered house cats. Her muse is a demanding sadistic Dom who often keeps her up into the wee hours of the morning. You can contact her at swordarkeereon@gmail.com

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