Flogging Me, Flogging You! #domagick

Foundational Sigil of Sorath

It’s time for me to start my research for the current #domagick challenge. One of my larger goals this year is to, at some point, do a Sorath working later in the year. But there’s a lot of prep work leading to that. After all, you don’t want to confront Sorath on something like this if you have unresolved issues. One of the things I’m considering for the challenge is work that helps me to obliterate (or at least lessen) my tendency to self-sabotage while still allowing me to keep my ego in check. Oh sure, I seem like the confident, well-adjusted writer that you see on your computer screen every day. Perhaps I even seem like your typical ego-laden magician. But the reality is I can be rather hard on myself. As a matter of fact, I’d venture to say that I’m probably harder on myself then my worst critics could ever be.

And, of course, to get to a point where I can do the Sorath work, I need to eliminate any chance for self-destruction before I go there. I can deal with the opinions of others because I don’t internalize that shit. I wouldn’t have made it far as a writer if I couldn’t. No. If anyone destroys me, it will be myself. Since I know this about me, I know it’s one of the areas that I need to work on, but I haven’t decided which spirit to work with at this point. That is where my research is going to come in.

Obviously, since I work with daemons, I will be drawing on daemonic influence during the work. One of the other areas that I need to work on is boosting productivity, and getting back to a point where I don’t feel like my work is work. I think part of the reason I’m having that problem is because I fear success. When you have success, you have a greater chance of failure. Right? So it’s like I have a simultaneous fear of both success and failure. I suppose most of us do. And fear, of course, is by its very nature self-sabotaging.

All of that said, I’ll be researching daemonic influences and working out my ritual constructs beginning this weekend. I may even draft out a preliminary magical tablet for the purpose.

About Steph

Steph is an award winning and bestselling author of thrilling steamy and paranormal romances, dark urban fantasy, occult horror-thrillers, cozy mysteries, contemporary romance, sword and sorcery fantasy, and books about the esoteric and Daemonolatry. A Daemonolatress and forever a resident of Smelt Isle, she is happily married and cat-mom to three pampered house cats. Her muse is a demanding sadistic Dom who often keeps her up into the wee hours of the morning. You can contact her at swordarkeereon@gmail.com

2 Replies to “Flogging Me, Flogging You! #domagick”

  1. I agree. I have the same innate fear of failure. It is awful. That was one of my goals on my workings. I know you’ll get over it and do great. I want to hear how it goes so keep me posted on that.

    I too have a confession, I haven’t worked any magick or painted since Jude was diagnosed. I guess I am/was so scared of not helping catch him up or keep him catching up and ruining his life of independence as a young adult because of my slacking now. That I put myself on the back burner a lot. Painting and Magick are personal and something I do for me. I guess what I mean is I fear failure so much that I keep parts of my self that I associate with “me time” at a distance. That can’t be healthy either and pretty self-sabotaging! I can relate.

    • I will definitely keep you posted! 🙂

      I totally understand your focus on Jude. But you’re right – you still need you time, so you can be mentally healthy enough to keep helping hjm. As they say – put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others on with theirs. While it may sound selfish on the surface, the reality is you can’t help anyone else if you haven’t helped yourself first. 🙂 {{hugs}} You are an amazing woman!

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