It’s time for me to start my research for the current #domagick challenge. One of my larger goals this year is to, at some point, do a Sorath working later in the year. But there’s a lot of prep work leading to that. After all, you don’t want to confront Sorath on something like this if you have unresolved issues. One of the things I’m considering for the challenge is work that helps me to obliterate (or at least lessen) my tendency to self-sabotage while still allowing me to keep my ego in check. Oh sure, I seem like the confident, well-adjusted writer that you see on your computer screen every day. Perhaps I even seem like your typical ego-laden magician. But the reality is I can be rather hard on myself. As a matter of fact, I’d venture to say that I’m probably harder on myself then my worst critics could ever be.
And, of course, to get to a point where I can do the Sorath work, I need to eliminate any chance for self-destruction before I go there. I can deal with the opinions of others because I don’t internalize that shit. I wouldn’t have made it far as a writer if I couldn’t. No. If anyone destroys me, it will be myself. Since I know this about me, I know it’s one of the areas that I need to work on, but I haven’t decided which spirit to work with at this point. That is where my research is going to come in.
Obviously, since I work with daemons, I will be drawing on daemonic influence during the work. One of the other areas that I need to work on is boosting productivity, and getting back to a point where I don’t feel like my work is work. I think part of the reason I’m having that problem is because I fear success. When you have success, you have a greater chance of failure. Right? So it’s like I have a simultaneous fear of both success and failure. I suppose most of us do. And fear, of course, is by its very nature self-sabotaging.
All of that said, I’ll be researching daemonic influences and working out my ritual constructs beginning this weekend. I may even draft out a preliminary magical tablet for the purpose.